REPRIEVED...OR

You’d think being that close to the golf, Barry Mill would be well placed to be turned into a bunker for the next British Open. So good news from the Charlotte Square Bunker that it’s to be… what’s the word they’re using – not saved, ah yes, reprieved. Now, I’m no expert in these things, but I always thought a reprieve was a postponement, a remission, a promise that the issue will return. So Kate, how long before you try and close Barry Mill again? When the Council’s money runs out? When the current bru-ha-ha dies down? When we’re all looking the other way? Come on – if it’s just sloppy reporting and you really did mean saved for ever, then leave a message on your mobile for the hacks to hack into (it’s quicker than a press release and entirely non-attributable.) If reprieve only means reprieve then don’t present this as a good news story, tell it how it really is.

A PINAFORE MOMENT

What rapid progress. One minute the basement allotment of The Scotsman, a croft gardener, pedalling advice on storing tatties, sharing all consuming pruning tips, worrying over preparations for pelargoniums, chrysanthemums and dahlias, and the next, Head of Gardens and Landscape Services, steering the garden-ship of the National Trust for Scotland away from the rocks of perpetual crisis to the safe shore of peat-free compost. Just shows you, keep polishing the words and and sooner or later (in your case, very much later) you get the top job. Well done ship-mate!


For the non-GandS afficianados amongst you, here a couple of tasters from Sir Joseph himself:


When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.
I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS REPEATS

As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand--
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!