REPRIEVED...OR

You’d think being that close to the golf, Barry Mill would be well placed to be turned into a bunker for the next British Open. So good news from the Charlotte Square Bunker that it’s to be… what’s the word they’re using – not saved, ah yes, reprieved. Now, I’m no expert in these things, but I always thought a reprieve was a postponement, a remission, a promise that the issue will return. So Kate, how long before you try and close Barry Mill again? When the Council’s money runs out? When the current bru-ha-ha dies down? When we’re all looking the other way? Come on – if it’s just sloppy reporting and you really did mean saved for ever, then leave a message on your mobile for the hacks to hack into (it’s quicker than a press release and entirely non-attributable.) If reprieve only means reprieve then don’t present this as a good news story, tell it how it really is.

A PINAFORE MOMENT

What rapid progress. One minute the basement allotment of The Scotsman, a croft gardener, pedalling advice on storing tatties, sharing all consuming pruning tips, worrying over preparations for pelargoniums, chrysanthemums and dahlias, and the next, Head of Gardens and Landscape Services, steering the garden-ship of the National Trust for Scotland away from the rocks of perpetual crisis to the safe shore of peat-free compost. Just shows you, keep polishing the words and and sooner or later (in your case, very much later) you get the top job. Well done ship-mate!


For the non-GandS afficianados amongst you, here a couple of tasters from Sir Joseph himself:


When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.
I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS REPEATS

As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand--
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

IN SAFE HANDS?

Some Little known twaddle abut Lesley Watt, NTS Director of Finance, nominated by the Scotsman in 2006 as Scotland's 34th Most Eligible Woman, and pieced together from our friends in the media

'A NEW Edinburgh organisation has been launched with the ambitious plan of winning a 40 per cent share of the multi-billion pound UK online farming equipment market within five years.
Globalfarmers - which cost £3.5 million to develop with backing from Bank of Scotland and Caledonian Heritable - aims to reduce farmers’ costs drastically when buying and selling equipment and supplies... Lesley Watt, finance director, added: "The suppliers are telling us that they will save on back-end administration and finance costs, benefit from reduced bad debts and improve the overall effectiveness of their service to farmers. ' Scotsman 21 January 2001

'UK dotcom Globalfarmers.com has gone into receivership and been put up for sale 18 months after nabbing investment worth £3.6 million... Last February the company managed to bag £3.6 million in financial backing from the Bank of Scotland and Caledonian Heritable Investments. It has around 20 staff, and 5000 farmers and 200 suppliers are registered to use the site.' The Register 5th July 2001

Well that didn't take long then. And in these hands are the financial responsibility for the Trust.

SECOND TIME EVEN LUCKIER

You heard it here first. Andrew Bachell is to resign from his post as Director of Conservation for the National Trust for Scotland. Andrew (indeterminate age) wasn’t available for comment but Clachnacuddin understands that he’s just a little unhappy as the NTS lurches from sad crisis to the next. But before you whip out a fiver for the going away present, don’t bother because Andrew’s been here before – he resigned under the previous regime and then trotted off to Scottish Natural Heritage and was paid by the taxpayer for a year or two before Mark (I was a wheel in RBS) Adderley coaxed him back to the NTS. Even then, there was a little bit of confusion – staff at SNH were told it was a short secondment. Define ‘short’. Anyway, off you go Andrew. Bet Trevor Croft if laughing his socks off!